its almost christmas!

have been trying to go to blogger, but only now i can get in here.

today was wonderful, christmas celebration with the big family, father side. it was warm, cozy, and im grateful that God has given me such a wonderful big family that always gather every year for christmas together. dinner, prayer, praise and worship, sharing, and EXCHAGE GIFT ;p it was nice to see a family coming together, meeting uncles, aunties, cousins, even small nephews and nieces. and one of my cousin is getting married next year, and the boyfriend just share it today (: it would be perfect if you were there with me.

so, ive been filling my days with movies and comics, and some driving lessons too (: oh and of course games too! Final fantasy XII, disgaea 2, greys anatomy, stardust, superbad, american pie 6, etc.somethings that i need to take my mind off this.

and i learnt alot of things. things that are important in life. truth, reality, love, hurt, promises, feelings, commitment, pain, fear, sorrow, care, lies, giving, trying, mistakes, forgiveness, regrets, hope, prayer, faith, trust, believe, accepting, memories, waiting, longing, crying, sadness, and many other things.but deep deep down, i still wish it werent true.

if there is one thing ive learnt througout this one whole year its that "there can be miracles, when you believe." hope, trust, faith are everything. that was my sharing today in the sharing session, anything can happen, you just need to believe and ask, if He doesnt give you what you asked for, he will know and give you whats better for you. and im praying.

its painful, its sad, i never felt this way before. but funny, im still right here waiting.

and happy christmas if i dont get the chance to get online on that day (: