something different.

this is gonna be a rant, dont bother reading.

this morning was different than other mornings. inspite of the fact that i slept quite early yesterday night, i really don't feel like waking up for school today. when my alarm rings, i felt like throwing it away. this is the first time i'm feeling like this, like theres no motivation for me to go to school anymore. why? i don't know. i hope it doesn't continue like this.

and i started thinking, why? but i cant seem to get the answer, yes i only got one class today and its at 2pm, and i really got nothing to do until then, except maybe marking, and going online. today sze also wont be at school because she has no lesson today, so ill be alone in the staffroom today. but are these the reasons why im so reluctant to get to school today. sigh.

ah i hope ill find my motivation to look forward to school!

not feeling really good.

okay im done for now, (maybe later ill edit this post and add some other things) and im gonna start doing some work here. its not really piling up, but i got some markings to do, and also some practical sorting.

you're my motivation.
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okay! 2nd part of the post (editted after lunch :p)

thanks to elaine for listening to me (: hehe, this is the first time i said it all out, (or issit all already?) haha, usually ill be the listener but this time im the talker :p so thanks for listening and helping me! i feel better (:

yes, was talking about relationship with elaine. i mean, talking about relationship, with elaine. haha, its quite fun and true to hear what each of us got to say. and that also bring me into telling her all these.

ahh, i dont want to be weak, i dont want to be a crybaby than get angry at someone who dumped me. i dont want to be some loser who get stuck in the past and letting it affect my life. just like what my friend said to me, be a man, just find another one! :p ironic, but true.

but you dont like me, you just like the chase.
to be real, it doesnt matter anyway.

so yes, ill get over it. mark my word. hahhh, but maybe now im still on this state. please oh please, let me out.

With a player like you I don't have a prayer
That's no way to live

elaine said that time will help me heal. its hard to because i put in too much, i trust too much. im a fool, im too trusting, i believe that everything is true, is real, and i put in my everything. (ironically, even too much is not enough) im naive. but nope, no more. ill be a new soul. hurt makes you stronger.

and for now, im feeling okay already, it doesnt hurt much, but it still linger on my mind.

HAHA, or issit because im too bored. hahaha.. im seriously lacking dates and movies :p

he better hold her tight, give her all the love
look in those beautiful eyes, and know hes lucky cause..