found my way back..

tho you most probably wont read this, but i wanna say sorry to take your kindness for granted, yet again. SORRY, though im sure i can't count how many sorry's ive said, but i mean it. and thank you (:

talking 'bout taking something for granted, well, i can say im guilty of many. it has always been my weakness, one that i cant wait to get rid of. if people say what you do defines who you are, well then im gonna change the way i are. no more, no more. who i were costs me alot of regrets in my life. some of the most painful ones too.

but looking from a different perspective, it will still be me, a better me (or at least i hope..)

at the bright side, im happy that there are still people that really care about me for what i am (: im happy that things are turning for the better everyday. hah, shall not take things for granted anymore and give thanks for everything that i have. i dont want anymore regrets (:

went to run again yesterday with my long lost running partner :D heh, finally you come back to run with me :D hahahaha.. you mug hard and hurry up get your car, haha, keep saying want this want that but noooothinggg yet :\ hurry hurry and remember not to pangseh the next class outing! haha.. pangseh-kia.. holiday plans dont pangseh too!

and this is to my emo friend, wenhao.

okay the comic strip is just random,
but here is a piece of advice i picked up along the road. from evonne's blog,
1st, learn to accept it.
2nd, learn to face it.
3rd, learn to let go of it.
well i dont know where are you now, but when you decide to let go,
dont look back.

and getting back to the post title, yep finally found my way back.and not looking back

disclaimer: to any of you who managed to get to this writing, dont worry bout me, im fine (: and i dont blame anyone in anyway possible. im just writing my mind out and im sorry if by doing this i offended anyone.

when people say that its better that you dont know. well, i think you're wrong. im feeling much better now, much much better since i know what is real. (: to keep someone in the dark but letting the person know that you are keeping him in the dark. im just saying. well, if you know me well, you know ill find my way through, always.

and you know what, im strong, i've faced rougher times, this is nothing. its my fault to be in this kinda position in the first place. its my fault. it hurts, but it heals (: the only thing thats left is the scar, well, its is not in my feeling, but in the relationship of the party involved. im sure it will never be the same anymore.

though i very much hope that you, and me, can get back to our normal relationship, i know it wont be the same anymore. i dont blame you for anything really. i just hope its back to normal, ill never want to lose a friend like you.

in the first place its my fault to get my judgement clouded by others opinions, fall to a trap where i shouldnt have fallen into. get myself into unnecessary trouble and hurt. sigh, i shouldnt have been so stupid to listen. well, you know that you know better than the rest. why dont trust yourself. my fault.

the way you do. i dont expect anything like that after anything like this. (well its incomprehensible but its just like that) heh, well you can never be as sure as hell anyway, cos you dont even know me that well. its just me to be like that, to treat people like that. seriously dont get my intentions wrong. i havent even started. and i never gonna start. sounds like im contradicting myself. (:

well maybe its best to end like this, and to let me know in this way. maybe you (this is a different you) already know that ill find out this way and you think its best for me and everyone, well you're right. (if you do really think like this, ah u really know me well), thank you.

im fine, im alright, im better than any (: nothing will bring me down.

lastly, thank you, and no, not goodbye (: