1005-2009

hello mum! today is mother's day so i wanna say, HAPPY MOTHER's DAY!! (what else) hahaha..

yesterday night i was quite bored with the usual TV series so i went to watch an indonesian movie titled 'love is cinta', the title sure sounds cheesy and corny but well, i was bored you see. the story is about a guy who died in an accident and is given 3 days to live again to finish his business on earth (that is actually the main story, to tell his feelings to his best friend who is a girl of course), but the thing is, his body was destroyed(?) so he can only use other people's body and then the story goes on how he tries to convince the girl and his family that he is himself. confusing?

but the thing i wanna say is that, i didn't expect the movie to be so impactful on me. well, i literally cried when his mom and dad finally believe that he is himself, but its the last day, so he was saying goodbye to the two of them. literally cried like i never did in any movie before. (luckily i was alone in my room). BUT then on the finale, when the girl finally believe him (like, last minute before he fly to heaven, stupid girl) well, i didn't even feel any feeling. haha, i think its the actors. so fake.

well the point is, i love my family. i love my mum, love my dad. but i dont know why but it feels weird saying it to them. when they say they love me, i can never reply that i love them too. its like, its weird and embarassing. but really, mom, dad, deep inside, i love you all very much (: and im sure you know that without me saying it out loud. (haha the cowardly me only dare to put it here since they wont read it). and since its the occasion, happy mother's day! i love you mum (:

a confession i wanna make: sometimes i woke up crying because of a bad dream involving my parents. these kind of dreams are the scariest one. and you will feel very relieved that its just a dream (well of course i woke up with tears because of other dreams too that i wont put it here) :P and only after that you realise how you love your parents so much. people say that you only treasure something after you lose it. everytime, we forget how important is our family to us. only when they are gone, we will remember, but thats just too late.

i know most of the times i sound uninterested when talking to both of you, sometimes sound annoyed and irritated. sometimes im irrational and tempramental. sometimes i look like im not happy around you, or maybe seems disrespectful when i disobey you or shouting back at you. im sorry that if i hurt you in one way another, i hope ill be better next time.

well, to end this point, happy mothers day! (;

going to the next topic is that, i cut my hair yesterday. haha, and if you know me, ill complain after every haircut, as usual. its always not what i expected, too short, too long, theres always something wrong. thats why i want to learn hairdressing and cut my own hair. haha, anyway, heres a shot from my low quaily laptop webcam.

luckily my hair grow in an amazing speed (i think thats what everyone think about their hair right, maybe except yt:P) and i expected it to grow again soon, and by then i wanna cut it the way it should be! haha, ill give detailed instruction to the hairdresser, i dont care. haha.. and my hair is all black already, around 6 months? and the coloured part of my hair is gone already. anyway i found this shot when i just cut my hair on february. it was nicer back then! damn. anyway, the shot was taken on a plane! :p

ok i shall stop with all the narcissistic photos! hahaa, and thatll be all about my post today. well, i dont know why my post nowadays are long like crap. haha, but yeah, maybe because ive nothing to do now :\ wasting my whole day watching shows :P

oh and today is.
you know. so happy 10th may. :p