finally here!

yes finally im able to go online! (:

so for updates, now im leaving in my mother's friend house, so i rather call it my aunts house. i need to go to the living room to connect my laptop to the modem, so i cant really go online that often and theres actually more problems ):

first, im living in someones house i really know, she lives with 2 children, 1 girl and 1 boy, ah, i dont know, i just dont really like it here now, i feel lonely. i feel as a burden, i feel lonely, i need someone to talk to, i need someone to accompany me through the nights and days. ahh, maybe i just need to share my frustations. will anyone want to listen? if only u are still here.

but im glad, im blessed with wonderful friends! friends that stays with me on good times and bad times. thank you, you know who you are. thanks for the time, time to listen to my complaints, to my frustation, cheering me up, and making me smile. i really thank you all. its true that a real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out. thanks for being here when i need someone to be with me.

ahh, and at this place, i go out early in the morning and go back late at night. i start to dread coming back :s whats worse, the aunt going to go back to jakarta on monday, and im left here with the 2 childrens. ahh i dont know if i can make it.

ahh, living in hostel is so so wonderful, with roomates and friends around you, PLUS you dont feel like you owe anybody anything, ure free to do anything you like, dont care about what people think about you. being a freeloader sucks.

and i guess now i know how people can talk hours in phone, because being alone, being lonely sucks. ahh. i guess its not the right place at the right time.

if only,
if only none of this were true
i wont be alone
i wont be crying alone
i wont be alone.