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heyo, here im back updating (:

just opened the book my PA friends gave me on my birthday, cos when i tried to read it last time, it was a book for FEMALE.. hahaa, but aniwae, better than left unread, i shall read it and share here (:

haha, funnily, the book is called 52 brilliant ideas : Master dating

but i guess its a self improvement book.. lets all improve ourselves shall we?

Who do you think they are?

As soon as girls are old enough to understand the spoken word, they are told stories of handsome knoghts and prince charming, encouraging them to daydream mister perfect from an early age. that's not to say one shouldn't have standards. standards are what keep us from ending up with a frog instead of a prince. but if you are serious of meeting someone, forget your 'perfect' one nonsense and think more laterally about who you both are.

What is most important to you? would you prefer security and appreciate the time you can spend together, or would you prefer lots of attention and fewer flash dinners? if you want someone free spirited, are you willing to accept that you may have to share or even carry the more grown up responsibilities of the relationship? if you'd love a playful one, will you be prepared for the fact they may want to keep their saturdays free for times with their mates? This isn't about making someone change but rather the opposite: being complatible after the first flush of lust is the key to staying happy, so rather than trying to force someone into an uncomfortable role later, be upfront early on. it will save a lot of heartache all round.

'we came to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see and imperfect person perfectly.'

Too much information

Women: we love to talk. it makes us society's glue and brings people together. the only problem is that there can be times, say when we have had the odd glass of wine or are nervous, that we develop a kind of verbal tic. We decide that the best route to intimacy is an unadultered, warts-and-all, four-hour narrative detailing our worst flaws and life low points. there are times when this is an appropriate route, of course. like in theraphy. but men frequently have problem paying attention to women that they have loved for years (like their mother), so a babbling woman they've just met sets off their warning system.

it is a fact that most people like to talk about themselves. if you find it difficult to come up with questions on the spur of the moment, then plan ahead. it will also remind you to keep a check on your ranting; concentrate on their listening rather than blathering.

Stop talking, and start listening. call in friends for support. make an eventing of it, getting in a bottle of wine and asking for an honestly amnesty. give them free rein not only to mention your most cringe-worthy moments, such as the time you gave 2 hour monologue to that handsome man at a party about the time you got legally banned from goin withing 400 yards of you last boyfriend's house. make a mental not to scratch it from your 'No, really, it's a funny story' list. then ask them to list your best points, from your slim upper arms (get more short sleeced clothes), to your freat dance moves. write them down and stick them on your fridge; after all. we can be our worst critics, but can also be blind to our flaws - and our good points. then make a concious effort to make the latter a bigger part of your everyday life. its all about accentuating the positive.

'the opposite of talking isn't listening. the opposite of talking is waiting.'

yeppp, done for today.. thats from the book, not saying whether its correct or wrong. whether i agree or not. but self improvement book is all like that, either you accept it or you dont..
more updates next time (;